


Brother Mine

by GallifreyanPal



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Brother/Brother Incest, Dark, Darkfic, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Incest, M/M, MIND THE DAMN TAGS, Mind the Tags, Realistic portrayal of incest, Sexual Themes, Sibling Incest, Suicide, Suicide Notes, This is not Happy, not romanticized, please read the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 07:13:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17617877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyanPal/pseuds/GallifreyanPal
Summary: "Do you want me to teach you like that?" Nevin said without even thinking about how he shouldn't. His heart was racing.Drew grew still. "Are - are you okay with that?"Nevin shrugged stiffly. "Like you said, it's just practice."Drew gave a nervous laugh. "Right. If it weren't, that would be weird. Because. We're brothers."-Or, Drew and Nevin get way too involved with each other, and it ends well for no one.





	Brother Mine

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Isaac Beamer Versus the Supernatural](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8470636) by [OneBizarreKai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneBizarreKai/pseuds/OneBizarreKai). 



> Please mind the tags and warnings if you are sensitive or have triggers. This story is not for everyone.

"Nevin."

"Hm?"

"Have you ever kissed anyone?"

Nevin rolled his eyes. "Why would you think I care?"

"I dunno, teens usually think about that sort of stuff."

Nevin looked up from his phone. "Are you saying you're thinking about it?"

Drew shrugged. "A little, maybe. There's this guy I might wanna ask out, and like, what if I'm horrible at kissing?"

"A guy?"

"Nev, you're gay, you have no room to talk."

"No, I mean." Nevin sighed, "Just a person in general. I'm surprised."

"Wow, thanks."

Nevin snickered, then set his phone down on his bedside table. He leaned forward to look over at Drew, who was on the floor on his stomach, idly kicking his legs. He held a book in his hands, but it didn't seem like he was paying attention to it.

"So, you gonna answer my question?" Drew asked, peering up at him with those big brown eyes.

It took only a moment for Nevin to register that he was asked a question. "Uh. Yeah, totally," he lied.

Drew looked back at his book, having fallen for the bait. "Was it that guy you took to Homecoming?"

"Last year, not this one, yeah," Nevin lied again. That date had ended horribly, and then the guy had moved away.

"Really? You said you didn't like him."

"Being hot enough to kiss doesn't mean he wasn't also a jerk."

Drew snorted, turning a page in his book. "All right then." There was a bit of silence before Drew made a face at his book. "Is kissing complicated?"

Nevin gave a weird look over to Drew. "What's with all the kissing questions?"

Drew shrugged. "Are tongues really a part of it?"

Nevin raised a brow. "Yeah? Drew, are you reading a romance novel or something?"

Drew gave a look to Nevin and held up his copy of  _ Julius Caesar _ , his required reading for English. "Obviously," he said with heavy sarcasm.

"All right, all right." Nevin said.

Drew sighed and bookmarked his place before closing the book and setting it aside. "I wasn't getting much done anyways."

"Too busy thinking about tongue makeouts, huh?"

"Shut up," Drew said. He looked like he would have hit Nevin on the arm if he was close enough. "I’m just wondering. How do you get practice before the real thing?"

"Curl your fist and make out with your hand, stick your tongue in it."

"Nevin!"

"What?"

"I'm being serious!"

"That was a serious answer!"

Drew huffed. "You know, since you know so much, maybe you could teach me." 

There was a pause in which Nevin's heart skipped a beat, and he raised his eyebrows before Drew cut in again.

"I mean - not like that, obviously," Drew said, face flushing dark.

"Do you  _ want _ me to teach you like that?" Nevin said without even thinking about how he shouldn't. His heart was racing.

Drew grew still. "Are - are you okay with that?"

Nevin shrugged stiffly. "Like you said, it's just practice."

Drew gave a nervous laugh. "Right. If it weren't, that would be weird. Because. We're brothers."

The pause this time dragged on far too long before Nevin scooted to the edge of the bed and pat the mattress beside him. "All right, get on up here."

Drew clambered up to the edge of Nevin's bed, quickly sitting next to his brother and clenching his fists into the sheets. "How are we going to do this?"

The tension in the air was so thick, Nevin could have cut it with a knife. "Okay. Just. Close your eyes."

Drew did, and Nevin took a shaky deep breath. He lifted his hand, ever so gently cupping the side of Drew's face.

He was really gonna do this, huh?

"Nevin?" Drew said after a few moments, eyes still shut.

Nevin leaned in.

* * *

 

It had been three days since he'd kissed Drew. Three days since he'd made the worst mistake of his life.

Worst of all, he didn't regret it.

It wasn't a secret that Nevin was extremely protective of his brother. He loved him, of course he wanted to keep him safe. But the true secret was that, perhaps, he loved him much more than was appropriate. Loved him in a way that brothers shouldn't.

Nevin was disgusted with himself for taking advantage of Drew like this.

They had spent about half an hour just sitting on the edge of the bed, kissing. Just kissing. On the mouth. Totally platonically (at least for Drew). He'd been adorable when he got that little confused look on his face as Nevin had decided to graduate him from simple chaste pecks to deeper kissing - he'd pulled back ("Was that your tongue?") and cocked his head to the side and Nevin again felt that pervasive tug in his chest, the one that twisted his heart but spurred him onwards.

It had been three days, and Nevin wanted to do it again. He only needed the opportunity, which Drew freely gave.

"Do you think I'm ready? To ask the guy out, I mean."

_ No. _ As long as Nevin had a say, Drew wouldn't ever be ready.

So they kept up... whatever this was. Drew would ask him if they could 'practice,' Nevin would oblige. Sometimes it was just five minutes inside the laundry room, other times they would head to Nevin's room and just kiss for an hour or more. It was a miracle their grandmother never caught them, with the numerous times this had happened already. It was becoming a problem.

"Nevin," Drew said one day, leaning back from Nevin's ever-wanting mouth and causing him to land his next kiss on his chin. "Nevin, I-" he started, taking a hand and placing it on Nevin's, which was pressed against the back of their couch. Their grandma wouldn't be home for about an hour - she went to run errands. Still, it was pretty irresponsible of them to be making out in the middle of the living room, against the back of the couch. 

Nevin blinked, looking at Drew. "Yeah?"

"I don’t know if we should keep doing this."

There it was. All of a sudden, Nevin's world came to a halt. "What do you mean?"

"Nev. We're brothers, in case you forgot. This is..." Drew sighed.

"Wrong?" Nevin asked, dejected, preparing for more rejection.

Drew shook his head. "Well - not exactly. I mean, this isn't romantic. You're just helping me get familiar with stuff."

Ouch. "Yeah, of course," Nevin said, leaning in again to perhaps silence Drew and make him forget all of his doubts, but Drew lifted a hand and pressed a finger against Nevin's lips.

"I know. But that's not what people will think when they find out."

"Who says they have to find out?" Nevin said. "I mean, we've done a pretty good job of not getting caught."

"That doesn't mean we can keep being this careless," Drew said. "We're in the middle of the living room, for god's sake."

"Then we can take it to my room," Nevin said. 

"Nevin-"

"Drew?"

Drew huffed. "Nevin, I'm telling you I'm really not sure if I want to continue."

"And I'm saying you're just being a little paranoid," Nevin said. "Look. Before we decide anything, let's just get out of the living room."

Drew hesitated. "All right."

They didn't make it to Nevin's room. Nevin couldn't keep himself off of Drew for thirty seconds, giving him pecks all the way up the stairs and stopping at the top, Drew having had enough and pushing Nevin against the wall to connect their mouths again. Drew practically shoved his tongue inside of Nevin's mouth, taking the lead unlike what they usually did - Nevin gently leading, Drew attentively following. This time, Drew was in charge, aggressively bruising Nevin's lips as he nipped at them over and over.

They parted when they heard the front door open, and went down to greet their grandmother and help her with the groceries.

* * *

 

"This can't be all there is to it."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's kind of anticlimactic."

"...It's kissing."

"I know, Nevin," Drew said. "I dunno, it feels like there's something missing."

Nevin raised a brow. "Sex?"

"God - No, that's not it," Drew said. "Thanks, now I gotta get that image out of my head."

"Strange, I would think you'd imagine that boy you have a crush on instead of us."

Drew flushed darker. "Well, in case you forgot, he and I haven't been making out."

"Oh, I'm well aware," Nevin said. He paused. "You know, you haven't told me who this guy is yet."

"I don't want to say yet. Besides, he’s absolutely way out of my league. And a junior."

"A junior? Drew, please," Nevin said, snickering. 

"See? I knew you'd react like that."

"No, hey. Hey," he said as Drew started to turn away, hurt. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Yeah, you did."

"Okay, I'm sorry," Nevin said. "I shouldn't have said it. You can ask out whoever you like, all right? I'll kick his junior ass if he makes fun of you for it."

Drew rolled his eyes. "Sure. Your tiny stature will surely scare him off."

Nevin bit his lip, holding back a comment about how he'd beat up Quinton that one time. "I'll still kick his ass."

"Whatever you say, Nev."

Another pause, and then Nevin spoke up. "Say, I think I know what's missing."

"Hm?"

"The kissing thing."

"What's that?"

Nevin hesitated only a split second before continuing, "Touching. And like, kissing other places in general. Jaw, neck, shoulders. Your hands aren't necessarily still the entire time. Seriously, have you ever read a romance novel, Drew?"

"Wh - yes I have!" Drew said. 

"Not Twilight."

"Ew, why would I read Twilight?"

Nevin shook his head. "Just get over here and kiss me," he said, grinning and scooting back on his bed to make room for Drew.

Drew obliged.

* * *

 

Nevin was officially in too deep. He knew the signs, the way his face got all flushed and dark, the way his heart raced and how he had to stop himself from stuttering.  _ Stuttering. _ When he was talking with Drew. This was more than wrong, this was perverse, the way he kept-

Staring at him.

The way Drew's nose crinkled when he laughed, the way his lips would curl as he frowned in though, the way when he stretched, his shirt would ride up and Nevin would catch a flash of his unblemished skin-

Too deep.

Too late.

It got worse when Drew said he wanted to practice for what he would  _ say. _ Sometimes, Nevin thought Drew knew, but of course, he didn't, and so he continued to whisper small things in Nevin's ear, nipping at the lobe and running a hand up his back, under his shirt, sweat-slicked palms gripping at him. It made Nevin's knees go weak. 

Sometimes, Nevin would dare to flip it, and he'd ride out the insane high of making Drew all flustered and hot underneath him, saying such things that only lovers would say. Nevin liked to imagine it, if he and Drew were really lovers, the things he would say and do. They could go out in public, people could know and Nevin wouldn't have to be afraid of just holding Drew's hand without the possibility of someone finding out what exactly they were doing, what kind of relationship they had. They could be with each other. If Drew even wanted him.

If he wanted him as much as Nevin wanted Drew.

"Your room?" Drew asked Nevin, tossing his backpack on the couch. 

Nevin nodded. It was beginning to become routine, almost. Every day. No longer were there strange, several day gaps between the days when they kissed. It was as normal as having an afternoon snack.

They always did this in Nevin's room. Never Drew's. Nevin didn't have to ask why, he  _ knew _ why, and it hurt, but he had to allow Drew that small escape. After all, late at night with the thin wall that they shared, it was easy to hear the soft moan of a name that wasn't his own. Nevin hated it, but he had to deal.

As Drew's hands made their way up Nevin's shirt like they'd done so many times in the past, Nevin found himself wanting more than usual. But he couldn't, he absolutely couldn't. He's already delved too deep, he can't go further. He has to stay where he is. So he kisses Drew and forgets about anything but the way their lips touch. Soft. Sweet. He tries not to concentrate on wanting more.

"...Nevin?"

Too deep.

"Nevin."

Too late.

"Nevin, you're. Erm." Drew looked downwards pointedly, between Nevin's legs.

Nevin would have desperately snapped his legs shut if it weren't for the way that Drew was slotted between them. "Shit. Shit Drew, I'm so sorry, I didn't - I didn't mean-"

"Nevin, that's-" Drew paused, sighing, looking off to the side before looking back. 

He moved his hand.

His thumb gently slipped under Nevin's waistband.

"If you want to... I could use a little practice on this part."

Nevin gulped.

"Sure. Practice."

* * *

 

This was it. This was the day that Nevin said  _ fuck it all. _

He'd been debating for weeks. That one night - it'd been the best goddamn night of his life. Fuck what everyone said. Fuck what morality said. No one was going to keep him away from Drew. No one was going to tell him what he could and couldn't do. Now all he had to do was tell Drew. If he could gather the courage to do that, Nevin could rule the world.

Nevin took a deep breath and knocked on the door of Drew's room.

"Come in!"

Nevin opened the door, peeking in. "Hey."

"Hey yourself."

There was a pause.

"So I-" 

They stopped. They'd spoken at the same time.

"You first," Drew said.

Nevin shook his head. "Nah, mine can wait. What did you wanna say?"

"Well," Drew said, turning in his chair - it was one of the rolling ones that sat by his desk, "-it's kind of big news."

_ I bet mine is bigger news. _ "Sure, what is it?"

"So I asked the guy out."

Nevin froze. "...And?"

"He said yes!" Drew practically squealed, tapping his feet excitedly and clenching his fists by his side. His smile was so wide, it could have split his face.

It sure as hell shattered Nevin's heart.

"Th-that's great!" Nevin replied, lump in his throat. "Are - are you going to tell me who it is?"

Drew sighed. "Okay, okay. His name's Barry. Barry Price."

"Oh. Him."

"You know him?"

"He's friends with Quinton."

Drew nodded. "Well, in any case, we have a date at the movies on Friday. He said he'd drive, since, uh. I can't yet."

Normally, Nevin would make some kind of joke poking fun at Drew for this, but right now? Right now wasn't the time.

"Sounds good."

Drew frowned. "Is that all you're gonna say?"

Nevin shrugged. "What can I say? My little brother's growing up."

Drew pouted. "We're twins, Nevin."

Nevin gave a sad smile. "Yeah."

Drew cocked his head to the side. "What's wrong, Nevin? Are you okay?" he asked. “Wait, I totally didn't let you say what you were going to say oh my god I'm an idiot. What were you going to say?"

"Grandma wants you to set the table," Nevin said, barely keeping his voice from cracking.

He quickly exited the room before he broke in front of Drew.

* * *

 

"So your brother's Nevin, right?"

Drew nodded, taking a sip of the milkshake. He and Barry had gone to a diner after they saw their movie, and were currently sharing a milkshake with two straws and a plate of cheese fries.

"Mhm!"

"That's cool. He's not gonna sabotage our date or anything, right?"

Drew snorted. "He seems like the type, doesn't he? But no, he wouldn't. He was happy for me when I told him that I asked you out."

"Really? That's more than I'd expect from a sibling," Barry said, popping a fry in his mouth.

"Well, we're pretty close," Drew said. "We've always taken care of each other."

"What about your parents?"

"Well, we live with our grandma," Drew said. "They passed away when we were really young."

"Ouch. Sorry to hear," Barry said. "And sorry for prying."

"No, it's okay. You didn't mean anything by it," Drew said. "Besides, it's a perfectly normal question to ask."

"All right. As long as I didn't overstep," Barry said, reaching for a fry only to find they were all gone. The milkshake was pretty much gone, too - yup, Drew took the last sip. "Your curfew is 10, right?"

Drew nodded. "Yeah, it's 9:40, we should get going."

Barry called over a bill, and much to Drew's protest ("I asked you on the date!")("I suggested the diner, and you paid for the movie tickets."), Barry footed the bill for the milkshake and fries.

The ride home was filled with more chatter. They talked all the way up until they reached Drew's doorstep, where they stopped.

"So. This is goodnight?" Barry asked.

"Yeah." Drew said, looking upwards at Barry. There was a pause where they said nothing, and Barry looked a little unsure. 

Right, he was waiting for Drew to make the first move.

Slowly, Drew leaned up, closing his eyes and pressing his lips to Barry's. The kiss was soft, sweet. Their hands met, clasped together by their sides. Drew pressed a little closer, parting his lips just a tad more, testing the waters with his tongue, prodding gently at Barry's mouth.

Barry pulled back, "Okay, whoa, that's just - a little fast for me," he said, flustered.

Drew let go of Barry's hands. "Crap. Sorry. I didn't-"

"No no, it's fine," Barry said. "Just a little fast. Save that for later, you know?" He chuckled. "I mean, don't get me wrong, you're. You're really good."

Drew's chest puffed slightly with pride. "I - thank you!" He paused. "You know, it's - it's kinda dumb, but I spent so much time practicing that sort of thing because I thought I'd just - be a horrible kisser. And then everything would be ruined because I couldn't kiss."

Barry snorted. "I thought you said you'd never actually asked anyone out before. Who'd you practice with?"

Drew, by all means, should have kept his mouth shut. But the name slipped out and he couldn't put it back. It was out there, two syllables, clear as day, for Barry's ears. He said it so casually, too, with a little laugh that totally didn't match the expression from Barry that he got in return.

"Uh, that's not too funny. That's kinda gross, Drew," Barry said, giving a nervous laugh.

Drew was silent. He'd frozen up, finally, in his stupidity.

"Drew? Drew, you're not-?" Barry said, cutting off and looking him up and down. "You're not joking, oh my god."

"I - I shouldn't have said anything," Drew said, looking down. "Look, it wasn't like - like  _ that _ , it was just practice, I asked for it, I was stupid and thought it'd be okay."

"No, you shouldn't have said anything," Barry said. "Drew, that's messed up, he's - he's your brother, oh my god-" He put his hand to his mouth, like he was going to be sick. "I kissed you, oh my god."

Drew looked up at him, hurt, afraid. "Barry, it was just a stupid mistake!"

"It was a mistake, all right," Barry said, turning and starting to walk to his car.

"Barry! Please, don't - don't leave like this, I-"

"You what?"

Drew stopped, feeling sick to his stomach, yet all he could think to say - "Please don't - don't tell anyone. it was stupid and I want to leave it behind."

Barry looked at him silently, car door propped open. "I won't." He paused. "But you can forget about that second date. I'm sorry, Drew, I just-" He sighed, "-I can't."

The door closed and the car drove away, Barry inside.

Drew choked on a sob, running back to the house. He quickly opened the door, closing it shut behind him and slumping against it. He shook and cried for a good while. Why did he have to be so dumb? God, why did he have to say Nevin's name? Why did he have to get so involved with Nevin in the first place?

This wasn't right. This absolutely wasn't right.

He sniffled, standing up and making his way into the living room. "Nevin?" he asked. No answer. He must be upstairs. Grandma, too. She said she would be asleep, leaving Nevin to keep track if Drew would be home by curfew. 

Drew was about to go upstairs when something on the kitchen table caught his eye. It was a piece of paper, Nevin's handwriting scrawled all over it. He picked it up. 

_ Drew, _

_ I'm really sorry. I'm too much of a fucking coward to say it to your face. Just like I was too much of a coward to tell you I loved you. Really loved you. More than I should have. And I was too late. I hesitated, and now you're on a date with Barry. _

The sick feeling in Drew's stomach grew, but he continued reading.

_ You've graduated from all this practice shit. Congrats. Here's your diploma, I guess. I even signed it at the bottom. I'm glad I had the opportunity to be your teacher, even if you didn't see it the way I did. And I guess it hurt me too much, in the end. Not seeing it the same way. _

_ I... don't think I can go back. I don't want to go back to how it was. I want us to be together, just you and I, but... that's not how it is. That's not how it will ever be. _

_ I'm sorry. I'm a coward. I've failed you. _

_ Love, forever and ever,  
_ _ Nevin. _

Drew inhaled sharply. As soon as he finished the letter, he dropped the paper, letting it flutter to the floor. He ran as fast as he could upstairs, flinging the door open to Nevin's room. Nothing.

A creak of the bathroom door caused Drew to turn his head sharply. The draft from the air conditioning had caused the door to move from its already slightly-ajar position. The light was also on.

Dream stepped closer to the bathroom. He could hear the shower running, and he slowed down, ever so gently pushing the bathroom door open.

He saw red. Red on the walls, red on the floor. Steam, rising from the shower, where, on the floor, there was a body. A body and a kitchen knife.

Drew wanted to scream. He tried, but no sound came out. His knees hit the tile floor of the bathroom  and he had to crawl, shaking, towards the shower. He opened the shower door, hoping that it wasn't who he knew it was, but the dark, damp mop of hair and the naked body he'd familiarized himself with couldn't be mistaken for anyone else. Drew sobbed loudly, freely. Nevin's lifeless body made no response, laying under the hot running water. Drew looked past him, to what was laying on the shower floor.

His hand wrapped around the handle of the silver knife.

 


End file.
